To start off, I must say that it is rather difficult to type while soothing your aching digits with a bag of frozen spinach (my frozen mixed vegetables thawed out too much... so here I am with frozen spinach.) We don't have any ice cubes. Anyway, you may (or may not) be wondering why I have a bag of frozen spinach atop my digits.
The answer? ...is simple. It's SOOTHING. :) Yeah.
...No. That's not all the answer I'm going to give you. I HAVE A STORY! An epic story... involving battle wounds and bacon. And punching things.
Ahem. Anyway. Gather 'round children and I will tell you a tale....
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod
did Sweeney Todd
the demon barber of fleet street.
He kept a shop in London town.
Of fancy clients and good renown
and what if none of their souls were saved
they went to their maker impecably shaved.
By Sweeney,
by Sweeney Todd
the demon barber of fleet street.
Swing your razor wide!
Sweeney, hold it to the skies.
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize.
His needswere few, his room was bare.
A lavabo and a fancy chair.
A mug of suds, and a leather strop,
an apron, a towel, a pail, and a mop.
For neatness he deserves a nod,
does Sweeney Todd,
the demon barber of Fleet Street.
Inconspicuous Sweeney was,
quick, and quiet and clean he was.
Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.
Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned,
like a perfect machine he planned,
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,
Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle
Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,
Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,
Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney!
...oh wait. That's the wrong tale. Nevermind. Mine goes a little more like this...
Today at school we were fabricating chicken and filleting fish. Wahoo. Then we learned how to kill lobsters. It's rather sad. And then we made soups using all the scraps of potatoes from our knife skills over the past week or so. It was during this soup making that our tale really begins. We were making a corn chowder and a pureed potato soup... when all of a sudden we decided that we NEEDED BACON in said soups. Because bacon + soup = extra yummy soup. So... we popped some bacon in the oven. (And this is not a normal oven, mind you.. this one opens more like a 2 door refrigerator... and the outside gets SUPER WAY HOT.) Well, suddenly the timer on the oven buzzed it's annoying buzzing sound. I scurried (cue the scurry music) to the oven to get the glorious BACON! While I was looking around for a rag (we use these instead of oven mitts... it's the cool chef thing to do) I started to open the oven. But right as I did I found a rag and started to reach for it. In my excitement and hurry over the BACON I kind of missed the oven door handle... and PUNCHED the oven. OUCH. I have the SWEETEST burn on THREE, yest three! of my fingers... and my knuckles. It hurts really badly. Hence the frozen spinach. I'm hoping it will leave some sort of cool scar... because that would be super neat. And it totally makes the pain a little bit worth it. But seriously, I've never had a burn that's hurt so bad in my life. It's really kind of gross looking too. :S
So kids, the moral of the story is... Do NOT get overly excited about BACON even though it is delicious. AND Do NOT punch hot ovens. It is in no way beneficial to your health. Yeah.
